托福写作185题库独立范文及解析:第67题

2022-05-24 00:51:58

  为了提高

   If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

  Some employers prefer to hire people who have work experiences and pay them higher salaries. They may think that if they want to make a success in business, they have to do so. If I were an employer, however, I would rather hire the inexperienced employees and paid them relatively lower salaries. I do not care about whether experiences an employee has or not, I really care about the cost. Besides, it needs not only experiences to do a job well and experienced workers may not definitely be suitable to certain job position.

  Hiring an experienced employee to do a job that he has experienced means that he can easily make the job done or do it efficiently. But here is the problem. I am a poor boss. As a young man, I have not earned much money myself. The experienced worker always asks too high salary to afford at my present financial condition. If I managed to pay employees higher salaries, it would probably push me to close my business eventually. So, I need to hire the inexperienced workers with lower salaries to cut down the cost of my business.

  To run business well, I have to consider a lot of other factors of an employee, not only the employee’s experience. Is the employee loyal to me? Could he probably cheat me in business operation? I really concern with these questions. If he chose to be not loyal to me or chose to cheat me at work, the experiences he has would be useless for my business. Considering of this, I would rather hire a worker who is inexperienced but loyal to me and trustworthy.

  An employee who has a lot of experiences does not always mean that he is just suitable to an assigned job. Someone who has experiences does not mean that he has experienced just this present job. His experiences are simply related with his former jobs. Everything can be changed over time and the needs for the same job can be changed, too. So, if I hired an experienced worker, perhaps I would still have to train him for just the present job again. Thus, if I have to train an experienced employee and pay him higher salary, why not train an inexperienced employee and pay him lower salary, now that I have to train any employee anyway? The cost of training is just the same, but the salaries I have to pay later are different: the former is higher; the latter, lower. Anyone who has normal sense will definitely choose the latter: the inexperienced but cheaper employee.

  In short, taking the cost, the suitability and the loyalty and honesty of employees into consideration, if I were an employer, I would definitely hire the inexperienced employees and pay them lower salaries.

  满分要素剖析:

  一、 语言表达

  本文语言表达非常生动,通过虚拟语气,反问,疑问等多种语气的转换和运用让说理更加清晰明了。文中长难句的使用较多,也不乏一些比较地道的表达。

  1. If I were an employer, however, I would rather hire the inexperienced employees and paid them relatively lower salaries. 这句话里有If引导的条件状语从句,在这里是虚拟语气的一种,作者在表达主观观点的时候,强调自己的立场和立场达成的条件。

  2. So, I need to hire the inexperienced workers with lower salaries to cut down the cost of my business. 此句话中的with短语是一种很有效率的用法,既可以丰富要表达的内容,又能省去从句的冗长繁复。

  3. Thus, if I have to train an experienced employee and pay him higher salary, why not train an inexperienced employee and pay him lower salary, now that I have to train any employee anyway? 这句话比较长,既有if引导的从句,也有now that引导的状语从句,还有why not引导的反问句,这些从句和连接词的用法都可以借鉴。然而虽然now that…anyway把作者想要表达的意思表达和强调得很到位,但是在前半部分意思已经表达完整的情况下,强调有点多余,建议去掉。

  二、 逻辑结构

  本文是用反推的方法来对比论证自己的观点。在讨论每个分论点的时候,先肯定有经验的员工能给公司带来的优势,然后带入自己的观点和设置具体语境进行反驳,直到证明自己的观点,是一种全面而丰满的推理,在对比中也能显现出作者的选择是自身情况下的最优,说服力增强。

  在全文结构上,采用的是总分总的结构,在开头详细地列举了分论点,结尾简单地照应开头,只强调了自己的观点。每个段落,作者也采用的是总分的结构,先提出分论点,然后进行梳理讨论。

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