我们经常说,写一篇文章前至少要明白谁会去读你的文章。那么,谁会来读学生们大学申请的文书?应该怎样来分析和理解阅读者的喜好和思维?
对于任何一个读者来说,和一个有趣的灵魂对话都是令人愉悦的过程,更何况是每天都阅“文”无数的大学招生官老师。所以我认为,在文书里展现出一个内心丰富、思想独立、视角独特的鲜活形象,是特别重要的一件事。此外,作为大学招生官,他的责任是选择一位将来能为本学校乃至全社会做出贡献的年轻人,所以一个能够给学校带来多元价值,或是志存高远,有志于改良社会的高中生,都是他们青睐有加的对象。
各校招生官最主要的目的就是在有限的时间里找出来和自己学校最MATCH的学生。我们无法判断招生官喜欢的是什么人,但是我们可以通过阅读学校网站(我觉得这个其实比参观学校更重要)来细心体会学校期待的学生是什么样的。招生官阅读文章的时间非常短,怎样在短短几分钟时间里让自己的个人形象跃然纸上非常重要!
一篇优秀的申请作文不仅要进入读者的大脑,更重要的是,要潜入读者的心,让招生官感受到孩子不是一部读书机器, 而是一个有血有肉的活生生的好孩子,是一个知道感受爱、给人爱、关怀他人、有人文情怀的人。感人的文书不是作秀,不是包装,而是实事求是地把自己最美好的人性、才华、以及领袖气质,通过自己参与的一个或一些活动展现给招生官。大学申请作文的目的就是要在冷冰冰的数字(GPA,SAT成绩等)上贴上一张温暖的脸。
很多准备动笔来写申请文书的孩子都会面临一个共同的问题:貌似心中有千言万语,却不知从何处道来。觉得自己没有什么优势和特点可以谈。如何有效搜集和整理素材呢,有没有一些基本应遵循的标准或规律?
在搜集素材的阶段,我常常会给学生们两个建议。第一,在高中阶段甚至更早时候,就要主动地积累素材,比如参加一个活动后写一个总结。活动本身不重要,招生官不在乎你是在云南支教,还是在四川保护大熊猫,他们看重的是你在活动中的深入思考,为什么会出现这个问题,我们怎么才能做的更好?很多时候活动结束了,大家也就散了,等到准备文书时,已经想不起来当时的很多细节。随时记录,能帮助你留下当时最真实的想法。另外我也建议学生们平时多多读书,各类传记、评论、小说,古今中外,开阔思路。特别是准备冲刺名校的学生,没有大量的阅读积累,很难完成好名校的文书题目。
至于最后阶段,如何进行素材筛选,就是学生和文书老师的讨论和碰撞了。一般都会根据主文书的题目、主旨选择素材,其他的素材可以按照需求,用于不同学校的补充文书题目。总之,素材的准备永远不嫌多。你的食材丰富,才能做出一席盛宴,不是吗?
说到题材的挖掘,我觉得父母的参与也非常重要。申请作文想要写得精彩,这与学生的成长经历有直接关系。如果没有成长过程中好的故事,又能让孩子们去写些什么呢?大学申请是孩子对自己人生的一个回顾小结。精彩的人生才有精彩的故事,才会有精彩的申请作文。而文书指导老师就是用第三方的眼睛和经验帮助孩子们提炼生活,找出生活中可圈可点的瞬间,从那里出发去构思故事。父母的参与可以让孩子的成长史更鲜活,也经常可以提供孩子忽视的闪光点。
另外,我觉得大学申请其实是一个系统工程,每篇作文都要全力以赴、精耕细作,作文和作文之间不能有重复的内容。针对某个大学的作文不应该重复使用通用申请作文里已经提到的内容,但进一步讲述是可以的。一篇好的作文不是对通用申请里其他内容的锦上添花,而是从不同的角度全方位地展现考生的优秀。申请作文是继GPA,SAT/PSAT/ACT/AP/IB,及各类课外活动后最后一个重要的机会,让考生获得招生官的青睐。当自己与众多考生在其他条件不相上下的情况下,一篇杰出的文书对大学录取很可能会起到决定性。
你们读过、修改过很多学生的文书,是否能给我们总结一下:好文书都长什么样子呢?怎样做才能写出你们眼里“漂亮”的文书?
好文书都是具有真情实感的。我手写我口,一定是学生自己发乎内心的想法和情感,才能打动人。好的文书老师会帮你用最精当的语言表达出你的想法,但这仍然是你的想法,不是老师的。
语法重要性就不必说了,另外用词一定要精准,要可以精准表达自己的意思,而且不能拖泥带水。 有的学生用三句话讲明一个意思,而实际只需一句话就够了。大部分的申请作文是有字数限制的。冗长,也就是不必要的长。这样的弊端是:A. 作文里水分太大,没有实质内容。B. 给读者的印象是没有诚意,虽然你可能觉得自己很有诚意。C. 给读者表达无能,不会沟通的印象。所有这样的作文不可能给招生官带来积极的印象。
简言概括,独特简洁而鲜活生动就是我眼里的好文书。
学生对文书写作的心得:
在今年早申录取中,LI被康奈尔大学录取,。在谈到文书写作时,他们两个人都分享了各自文书的素材,并且不约而同突出了一个要点,那就是文书写作一定要学会怎样讲故事。
Wang同学们通过讲述了自己怎样在参加学校拔河比赛的过程中,从最开始对自己没有信心、本能想要拒绝,到后来一路坚持,突破自己,改变内心对自我的负面认知,从而重新认识了“我是一个什么样的人”。这个故事看似普通,却与他所选择的文书题目环环相扣。他又通过对自我内心挣扎过程生动地描写,让招生官一下子就感觉可以钻进这个学生的思想里,明白了他的各种心情:犹豫、不甘、纠结、不放弃、努力、坚持等。
Li差不多是从暑假开始构思文书的。刚开始她写了第一篇是有关自己小学4年级怎样克服困难、提高英语成绩的。第二篇是讲述自己如何在校车上见义勇为。写完这两个版本后,她都不满意,觉得没有将自己同其他人区别开来,自己的个人形象也没有一下子就“跃然纸上”。
后来,她在吃冰淇淋的时候突然灵机一动。想到用冰淇淋来讲述自己的成长故事。冰淇淋不仅有香草味,巧克力味,还有一种香草巧克力味的冰淇淋。两者是可以被完美混合在一起。这就如同她自己,一个刚开始腼腆害羞的中国女孩,怎样在开放和充满个性的美国文化中调节和改变自我,来不断突破自己的心理舒适区,成长变化到今天这个自信又勇敢的人。Li觉得冰淇淋这个立意很新颖,对她成功申请帮助很大。这其实也是生活所给予的一个启发,并非她自己坐在那里苦思冥想很久才有的。所以生活中很多不经意的想法往往对同学们衡量和思考自身特质有很大帮助,建议大家平日来还是多积累、多留意生活的细节。
最后,我们来跟大家分享一下Li今年早申录取康奈尔大学的这篇文书,希望对所有将要申请和进行文书撰写的同学们有所帮助。
Ice cream has always been my favorite snack. My cousin and I used to go to the ice cream shop on the street every Sunday when we were young. We had different favorite flavors though- I loved vanilla and he loved chocolate- so we would argue with each other about which flavor tasted better.
I remembered growing up as a staunch “Vanilla Warrior” until I was eight. One day, my friend and I walked into an ice cream store after shopping. Unfortunately, all the vanilla was sold out, so I ordered a chocolate flavor instead. Walking out of the store, I licked the ice cream hesitantly. Sweet, cool and tastes delicious! I soon started to devour it and began to regret refusing to try chocolate ice cream so many times before. I realized that if I wasn’t that stubborn, if I had been more open to my cousin’s opinion, I would have tasted this chocolate treasure earlier. Being consistent with my opinion may not always be wrong, but listening to others’ thoughts may make me better.
Since then, I gradually became more open to different flavors of ice cream. I tried strawberry, mint and even mango flavored in Thailand. As my palate expanded, my mind opened as well. I stepped out of my comfort zone, started talking to different people, and exposed myself to different ideas. I traveled to different places with a heart to listen, to talk, and to make friends. In England, I had a conversation about the weather of London with a local woman; in Mongolia, I learned the habits of sheep from a shepherd; in Jeju Island, Korea, I explored the tradition of sea women, the Haenyeo. I transformed from a girl who accepted a new flavor or idea passively to one who was actively seeking out new adventures. Doing so, I broadened my horizon, learned more knowledge, and became more open in every aspect of my life.
Then I came to America as a Chinese international student when I was thirteen. Now the situation had changed. I became the only one who’s different- a Chinese among millions of Americans. I was confused at first. What should I do? Should I keep my Chinese ways of thinking, be completely different from others or should I let myself be totally Americanized to fit in better with the rest of the crowd? It had been a dilemma to me until one day, I went to an ice cream store and found out that between the label of “Vanilla” and “Chocolate”, there exists a choice called “Vanilla-Chocolate Twist”. This way, instead of picking one flavor over the other, people can have two flavors in one cone. I was amazed and enlightened by this invention. What if I be the “Vanilla-Chocolate Twist” too? Just like the ice cream, I do not have to pick one life style over the other, instead I can find a third way and combine the two. Coming from a different background does not put me at a disadvantage, but indeed gives me the chance to absorb, to combine and form the new, unique me. I learned American humor while still keeping old Chinese jokes; I participated in dozens of American activities while keeping my Chinese work ethic; I enjoyed Trick or Treating on Halloween as well as celebrating the Chinese New Year. I embraced the openness in American, listened to different views and connected them with my childhood experience in China. Gradually, I started to think more critically and saw things in two perspectives. I soon became a real “Vanilla-Chocolate Twist” among my friends because of my unique identity and experience.
Ice cream is still my favorite snack today. However, to me, the meaning of ice cream has far exceeded merely that of a dessert - it is also my teacher in life, an opener of my mind, and the witness of my personal growth.
Li
Class of 2022, Cornell University